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  • Writer's pictureTina Dodds

Giving a F About The Right Things?

This 1 question could help you give out your limited F's more efficiently.

My boys went back to school last week.

(if you are a parent/caregiver/teacher who is navigating the new school landscape, I see you)

As you can imagine there are a whole host of things we are thinking about now that didn't require our brainpower B.C. (Before. COVID). This is in addition to any challenges that may have already existed.

For my fam, one such challenge (at least for one of my boys) is school lunches.

Let's just say he has a rather exclusive palate.

So, after scheduling some time in my calendar to research "lunch ideas for picky teens", I presented a collection of screenshots to him hoping that he'd be into a few and we could launch into a lunchtime experiment.

It's week 1, day 2.

If it wasn't for my probing this morning he would have purposefully kicked the planned lunch for today to the curb and it would have gone bad.

Instead, at the last minute he grabbed it and put it in his lunchbox behaving as if I was the most annoying person on the planet and ignoring any/all further communication from me. (teens gonna teen)

This werked my nerves for minute.

Here's why:

  1. I'm not annoying. ;)

  2. Being on the receiving end of the silent treatment sucks.

  3. Meal planning and prepping food on the regular is not my fav, but I do it for my fam.

  4. I don't like to waste: time, money, food.

  5. I care deeply about how food affects the way my kids feel, think, and behave and I want him to acknowledge this as a way I love up on him.

Now, as I saw it, I had a few choices.

  • I could lash out at him for being a terd to me or I could chalk it up to teen hormones and school in the age of COVID...and not take it personally.

  • I could rage for the rest of the day, feeling disrespected or I could put myself on a quick time-out and engage in some mood shifting exercises (my go to's are deep breaths, reflective journaling, yoga, or music)

  • I could let go of my expectations around him eating more healthfully at school or I could connect with what's most important to me (his health and well-being) and choose to stay the course and continue to experiment.

Ultimately I chose the later of all of the above...and we were both better for it.

Know, that if you've ever felt frustrated, angry, or resentful because you didn't receive the (insert acknowledgment, feedback, gratitude, love, etc.) you were hopeful for, it's likely that at least 2 of 3 things are happening...

  1. You are human.

  2. You were giving the wrong f*cks.

  3. You lost sight of why you were giving a f*ck.


One question to ask yourself when you are down to your last F...

What am I willing to struggle for?

In other words, what's most important - what do you value most?

The thing is, the struggle is inevitable and suffering is a part of life.

And the good news is we get to decide what we're willing to struggle/suffer for.

So when faced with pushback, adversity, and obstacles while in the pursuit of what you think you want, reconnect with what matters to you - reconnect with what you value most.

The stuff not worthy of the limited F's you have to give will begin to fall away and clear a path for a struggle worthy your precious time and energy.


Interested in putting this into practice?

This Thursday, August 19 at 6pm PT we'll be getting the convo started for our latest book inside The The Thrive Hive, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" by Mark Manson.

The Thrive Hive is a virtual book club full of super supportive, playful women who value personal growth and community as a means to living their best lives and creating opportunities for their families and communities to do the same.

If you are down like James Brown and/or are interested in learning more about The Hive, click HERE.

And if you are already in there like swimwear, I can't wait to "see" you this Thursday!


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